As an educator with almost 30 years of experience, I’ve seen a lot of shifts in education, but one constant remains: students must learn how to fail and rise again. It’s a concept that seems to make many parents uncomfortable in today’s world. We live in an age where we strive to protect children from discomfort, setbacks, or disappointment. While the intention comes from a place of love, shielding students from failure robs them of the very experiences that build resilience, character, and confidence.
Failure: The Foundation of Learning
In education, failure isn’t a dirty word—it’s a critical part of growth. I often remind students and parents alike that "FAIL" stands for First Attempt In Learning. No one achieves greatness without moments of struggle. Whether it’s figuring out a tough math problem, missing a goal on the soccer field, or stumbling over a line in a class presentation, failure is simply a step on the road to mastery.
Professional athletes understand this better than most. In baseball, a .300 batting average—a statistic where the batter gets a hit three out of every ten times—is considered excellent. This means players fail at the plate 70% of the time. Athletes work through failure every day—missed free throws, slow runs, or frustrating practices—and they come back stronger. Failure, for them, isn’t final. It’s feedback.
The Problem of "Failure-Free" Childhoods
As a school leader, I’ve seen the effects of shielding students from failure up close. When students make a poor choice and end up in my office, it’s an opportunity to reflect and grow.
But I’ve also had parents plead with me not to hold their child accountable, saying things like, “This isn’t like him” or “She’s never made a mistake like this before.”
When I hear this, I often wonder: How many times has this student been allowed to fail?
The truth is, small failures in childhood prepare students for bigger challenges later. When we deny them these moments, we set them up to believe failure is catastrophic instead of educational. A misstep at 14 or 15 years old is just that—a misstep. Consequences are not punishment; they are a way to teach students to reflect, adjust, and move forward.
For Students Without Built-In Opportunities to Fail
Programs like athletics, band, or theater often provide students with natural lessons about failure. A missed shot, a wrong note, or a forgotten line in a play teaches humility, perseverance, and the value of practice.
But what about students who aren’t involved in these activities?
For them, failure might come less frequently, which makes it feel more overwhelming when it does occur. As educators, we have to model what failure looks like and how to handle it:
- Celebrate mistakes as part of the process: Share stories of famous failures that led to great success.
- Guide students to reflect: What went wrong? What could they do differently?
- Teach perseverance: Failure without follow-up leads to frustration, but failure with growth leads to confidence.
One powerful way to start this conversation is to share inspiring stories or videos. For example, Michael Jordan famously said, “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times, I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
The Role of Parents and Educators
We must partner together to help students see failure not as the end, but as an opportunity to grow. As parents, it’s natural to want to protect your child from the sting of failure, but it’s far more important to equip them with the tools to bounce back. Encourage them to try, fail, and try again. As educators, we must provide spaces where failure is seen as part of learning, not something to be feared.
When failure happens—and it will—we can remind students that yesterday is gone, but today is a chance to do better. The ability to stand back up, take ownership, and keep moving forward will serve them far beyond the walls of our classrooms.
So let’s embrace the F word—failure. Because in every stumble lies the potential for greatness. And in every challenge lies the opportunity to build stronger, more resilient students who are ready to take on the world.
What steps will you take today to help your students embrace failure and grow from it?
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