From Burnout to Boundaries: What I Learned About Leading With Intention

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Leadership burnout often isn’t about a lack of time -- it’s about how we spend our energy. Just like our finances, energy is a limited resource. If we overspend, we end up depleted. But if we invest wisely, we can show up as our best selves --even during the busiest, most demanding seasons.

I learned this lesson the hard way during my first principalship.

I was eager, committed, and determined to give 110%. I arrived early, stayed late, answered every call, and said yes to every request. I was always “on” -- because I believed that’s what great leaders do. But I didn’t set boundaries. I didn’t create space to recharge. And I didn’t realize, until it caught up with me, that I was giving so much away that there was nothing left in the tank.

I started noticing signs of burnout... short patience, trouble focusing, even resentment. I wasn’t showing up the way I wanted to. And that’s when I realized: this isn’t just about managing time. It’s about managing energy.

Since then, I try to be just as intentional with my energy as I am with my money. 

Each morning and week, I reflect:

~What’s draining me right now?

~What’s filling me back up?

~Where do I need to set a boundary or make a better investment?

One quote that’s guided me through this journey is from Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor:

“Please take responsibility for the energy you bring into the room.”

Dr. Taylor, a neuroscientist, shares her story in My Stroke of Insight, where she describes having a stroke and watching, in real time, as her body shut down. 

While in the hospital, she was unable to move or speak, but she was completely aware of the energy people brought into her room. Some medical staff rushed in and out, checking charts with distraction in their eyes. Others entered calmly, gently touching her foot and speaking softly, even when she couldn’t respond.

She felt the difference.

The experience led her to post a note on her hospital door: “Please take responsibility for the energy you bring into the room.”

As educators, we lead rooms all day long. Classrooms. Conference rooms. Offices. Hallways. And whether we realize it or not, our energy speaks before we do. It’s contagious. So we have to be aware of what we’re bringing in.

Jon Gordon talks about energy vampires: people, tasks, or habits that suck the energy out of a space. Maybe it’s that standing meeting that never has a clear purpose. Or the unresolved tension that lingers after a difficult conversation. Or the pressure we put on ourselves to be available 24/7. Those are withdrawals from our energy budget.

That’s why I do weekly energy audits. I ask myself:

• Which meetings or tasks consistently drain me?
• What three things reliably fill me back up?

For me, the bucket-fillers are:

• A long walk with a great podcast
• Time outside, working in the yard
• Sitting by the pool and listening to the water in the bubblers

These aren’t luxuries -- they’re necessities. They’re deposits into my energy account.

Because here’s the truth: Energy isn’t unlimited -- but it is renewable. And just like budgeting money, when we’re aware of where our energy is going, we can make smarter choices that serve us and those we lead.

So here’s your challenge for the week:

1. Do a quick energy audit.

2. Identify one thing to release.

3. Name one thing that refuels you.

You are your most important resource. Protect your peace. Lead with intention, and protect the energy you bring into the room.

For New Leaders: Encouragement From Someone Who’s Walked the Path

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As I step into a new season of life and leadership, I’ve been reflecting on the moments that shaped my journey -- and the leaders just beginning theirs. I originally shared the "The 4 E’s for New School Leaders" in 2022, and since then, I’ve heard from so many of you who’ve found encouragement in its message. With fresh perspective and renewed purpose, I’ve updated it here in hopes that it continues to support and inspire you in your own leadership path.

As I wrap up my 29th year in education, I find myself full of gratitude, reflection, and a renewed sense of purpose. After two incredible years as principal at Hoover High School and nearly two decades as a school administrator, I'm stepping away from the daily rhythm of school life -- not because I’m done leading, but because I’m entering a new season.

This next chapter will look different. I’m choosing to step back so I can care for my parents. At the same time, I’m stepping into something deeply meaningful to me -- continuing my work part-time with the Hope Institute and supporting educators through leadership coaching. I’ve always been passionate about helping others become their best, and I still believe that schools should be incredible, loving places where both students and adults thrive.

In a discussion on the Brand Builders Group podcast, Coach Micheal Burt—former championship high school basketball coach and now performance coach—shared this powerful insight on serving others:

“You cannot lose when you’re serving someone else.” 

That simple yet profound statement stopped me in my tracks. It perfectly captures what leadership is truly about -- not tallying wins for yourself, but guiding and uplifting others. As new leaders, remember: our greatest impact comes when we focus on serving others -- because in that service, we ourselves become stronger.

That’s exactly where I am.

I’ve lived my dream. I’ve led schools filled with amazing people and students. Now, it’s my time to give back. To coach. To encourage. To pour into the new leaders who are just beginning their own journeys.

So, this post is for you -- the new school leaders who are learning by doing. The ones who are searching for a boost, a fresh idea, or simply someone to say, You're doing better than you think. I’ve been where you are. I know the excitement. I know the doubt. And I know how powerful a little encouragement can be. 

Here are four things I want to share from my heart to yours.

Encourage

The word “encourage” literally means “to put courage into.” And if I could only give one gift to new leaders, it would be this one.

Encouragement isn’t just about making people feel good -- it’s about helping them be brave. It’s choosing to trust, to see the good, and to speak life into people. As a leader, your words matter. A handwritten note, a quick hallway high-five, or a shout-out in a meeting can create lasting impact.

And don’t forget to encourage yourself. I’ve always kept journals -- gratitude journals, reflection journals -- but throughout my leadership journey, this blog has been a source of inspiration for myself as well as others. I have a digital record of quotes that lifted me. Wins I needed to remember. Reflections that helped me grow. If you’re facing imposter syndrome (and most of us do), this kind of journal becomes a powerful reminder of your purpose and progress.

Empathize

Empathy is a leadership superpower.

One of my favorite teachers on this topic is Brené Brown, who reminds us that empathy isn’t about fixing others -- it’s about connecting with them. It’s feeling with people, not for them.

Dare to Lead has been an important part of my leadership journey.

In leadership, empathy looks like slowing down. It’s saying, “I see you. I’ve been there. You’re not alone.” It’s listening without needing to respond. It’s choosing kindness, even when you’re tired or frustrated.

Forbes once outlined five ways to lead with more empathy:

1. Change your mind
2. Allow the messy
3. Use candor productively
4. Involve others in decisions
5. Foster growth, not judgment

Empathy is how we build trust. It’s how we create safe places for people to take risks and grow.

Eliminate

When I first became a principal, I quickly realized: everything couldn’t be a priority. And that meant I had to learn what to eliminate.

I had to get crystal clear on my personal values and our school’s core values. If something didn’t align -- we didn’t do it. That clarity gave us freedom.

I also made it a habit to ask others, “What can I take off your plate?” and "What can I do for you?" Because I remember what it felt like to be in the classroom. The overwhelm. The constant additions. Leaders can -- and should -- look for what can be removed, simplified, or automated to make life better for staff.

Personally, I also worked to eliminate distractions and energy-drainers from my own routines. And I surrounded myself with encouragers -- people who lifted me up and reminded me why I do this work.

Engage

As a new school leader, you’ll be pulled in many directions -- emails, meetings, reports, and emergencies. But one of the most impactful ways to lead is by being present.

When I completed my doctoral dissertation, I studied the leadership practices of principals through the lens of Kouzes and Posner’s Five Practices of Exemplary Leadership. Their work deeply affirmed the way I view leadership -- not as a checklist of tasks, but as a relationship-centered journey. One of their five practices, Enable Others to Act, continues to resonate with me. Leaders build trust and foster collaboration not through grand gestures, but through daily, visible actions.

The framework in this book was used in my dissertation

Presence matters.

That’s why I made it a priority to be in the hallways -- not just in the mornings, but throughout the day. A quick fist bump with a student, asking a teacher how their child’s soccer game went, noticing when someone’s had a tough day -- these moments build trust. They communicate, “I see you. You matter.”

These might seem like small gestures -- but they build trust, human connection, and a strong school culture.

Randy Conley, Vice President and Trust Practice Leader for Blanchard, highlights that people thrive when four core needs are met:

1. to be trusted
2. to have hope
3. to feel worthy
4. to feel competent

Your visible presence -- through consistent engagement -- goes a long way in fulfilling those needs.

Here’s a leadership reflection for you:

How are you creating opportunities to connect with your community -- students, staff, and families -- beyond your desk and your calendar?

Because impactful leadership isn’t just about policies and procedures -- it’s about being seen, heard, and truly present.

Final Thought

As I step into this next season, my heart holds both gratitude and a touch of sadness. It’s never easy to leave a place and people you love. Hoover High has been a place of purpose, joy, and connection for me over the past two years—two of the most meaningful in my entire career. I will carry those memories with me always.

At the same time, I feel incredibly grateful to be able to support my parents in this next chapter. This shift isn’t about walking away -- it’s about walking toward something equally meaningful: continuing to pour into the lives of educators through my work with the Hope Institute and leadership coaching.

You don’t have to have it all figured out to lead well. You just have to keep growing, keep showing up, and keep pouring into others.

And when you’re not sure if you’re doing it right, hear this from me:

You are enough.

You are growing.

You’re doing better than you think.

Stop Scrolling, Start Growing: A Mid-Year Reminder to Focus on You

We’re halfway through the year.

June is often a month of transition. The school year has wrapped up, summer is in full swing, and for many of us, it’s a time to slow down and catch our breath. It’s also the perfect time to pause and reflect: Am I becoming the person I hoped to be when the year began?

This is when comparison can quietly creep in.

You scroll through social media and see someone crushing their goals. Someone else is launching a new project, traveling to bucket-list destinations, or posting daily workout selfies. It’s easy to go from inspired… to discouraged.

If you’ve ever caught yourself thinking, “I should be further along by now,” or “Why does it seem so easy for everyone else?” — you’re not alone.

But here’s the truth: comparison is a distraction. It pulls your focus from your own growth and redirects it to someone else’s path.

This Is Your Journey

One of my favorite reminders to myself (and to others) is this:

Your beginning might be someone else’s middle.

And where you end up may look completely different than where someone else is headed.

When we compare our progress to others, we short-circuit our own growth. Social media is a highlight reel, not the full story. We rarely see the messy middle—the failures, doubts, or days of starting over.

Instead of falling into the comparison trap, choose intentional reflection. Look at how far you’ve come—not how far you think you “should” be.

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” – Theodore Roosevelt

If your joy has felt diminished lately, ask yourself: Am I being inspired… or distracted?

Mid-Year Is the Perfect Time to Recalibrate

The great news is: there’s still plenty of time left in the year to move forward with clarity and purpose. Whether your goals were personal, professional, physical, or spiritual, June gives you the space to reset and recommit.

Here’s how you can get back on track:

• Refocus on your goals. Dust off the vision you had back in January. What’s still important to you?
• Recommit to your process. Growth doesn’t have to be fast—it just has to be consistent. Small steps add up.
• Resist the distraction. That means setting boundaries around what you consume and where you give your attention.

Comparison is loud. But your purpose? It’s louder—when you take the time to listen.

Be Inspired—But Stay Grounded

It’s healthy to be inspired by others. Let their stories remind you of what’s possible. But if you find yourself feeling “less than” more than you feel motivated, it’s time to realign.

You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to keep showing up.

You don’t need to do it all. You just need to keep doing what matters most to you.

Let this summer be a season of reflection, realignment, and rest. Step into the second half of the year with renewed clarity and confidence, knowing that you are always enough.

What’s one goal you want to re-focus on this summer?

I’d love to hear from you—share your thoughts in the comments or join me over on Twitter/X. Let’s support and encourage one another through this next season of growth.

Failure Isn't Final - It's Feedback

As an educator with almost 30 years of experience, I’ve seen a lot of shifts in education, but one constant remains: students must learn how to fail and rise again. It’s a concept that seems to make many parents uncomfortable in today’s world. We live in an age where we strive to protect children from discomfort, setbacks, or disappointment. While the intention comes from a place of love, shielding students from failure robs them of the very experiences that build resilience, character, and confidence.

Failure: The Foundation of Learning

In education, failure isn’t a dirty word—it’s a critical part of growth. I often remind students and parents alike that "FAIL" stands for First Attempt In Learning. No one achieves greatness without moments of struggle. Whether it’s figuring out a tough math problem, missing a goal on the soccer field, or stumbling over a line in a class presentation, failure is simply a step on the road to mastery.

Professional athletes understand this better than most. In baseball, a .300 batting average—a statistic where the batter gets a hit three out of every ten times—is considered excellent. This means players fail at the plate 70% of the time. Athletes work through failure every day—missed free throws, slow runs, or frustrating practices—and they come back stronger. Failure, for them, isn’t final. It’s feedback.

The Problem of "Failure-Free" Childhoods

As a school leader, I’ve seen the effects of shielding students from failure up close. When students make a poor choice and end up in my office, it’s an opportunity to reflect and grow. 

But I’ve also had parents plead with me not to hold their child accountable, saying things like, “This isn’t like him” or “She’s never made a mistake like this before.”

When I hear this, I often wonder: How many times has this student been allowed to fail?

The truth is, small failures in childhood prepare students for bigger challenges later. When we deny them these moments, we set them up to believe failure is catastrophic instead of educational. A misstep at 14 or 15 years old is just that—a misstep. Consequences are not punishment; they are a way to teach students to reflect, adjust, and move forward.

For Students Without Built-In Opportunities to Fail

Programs like athletics, band, or theater often provide students with natural lessons about failure. A missed shot, a wrong note, or a forgotten line in a play teaches humility, perseverance, and the value of practice. 

But what about students who aren’t involved in these activities?

For them, failure might come less frequently, which makes it feel more overwhelming when it does occur. As educators, we have to model what failure looks like and how to handle it:

• Celebrate mistakes as part of the process: Share stories of famous failures that led to great success.
• Guide students to reflect: What went wrong? What could they do differently?
• Teach perseverance: Failure without follow-up leads to frustration, but failure with growth leads to confidence.

One powerful way to start this conversation is to share inspiring stories or videos. For example, Michael Jordan famously said, “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times, I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

The Role of Parents and Educators

We must partner together to help students see failure not as the end, but as an opportunity to grow. As parents, it’s natural to want to protect your child from the sting of failure, but it’s far more important to equip them with the tools to bounce back. Encourage them to try, fail, and try again. As educators, we must provide spaces where failure is seen as part of learning, not something to be feared.

When failure happens—and it will—we can remind students that yesterday is gone, but today is a chance to do better. The ability to stand back up, take ownership, and keep moving forward will serve them far beyond the walls of our classrooms.

So let’s embrace the F word—failure. Because in every stumble lies the potential for greatness. And in every challenge lies the opportunity to build stronger, more resilient students who are ready to take on the world.

What steps will you take today to help your students embrace failure and grow from it?